Mouth Full of White Lies
by Cheeky Slytherin Lass
Summary: It only takes Dean a few years to be honest with Seamus.:: Or five times that Dean has lied to Seamus, and one time he didn't.:: For Poke


_For Poke via the Monthly Oneshot Exchange._

 **Prompt Used: Lies**

* * *

 **i.**

"I look ridiculous!" Seamus groans.

Dean bites his lip to keep from laughing. Now is not the time for laughter. Seamus is far too distraught over the loss of half of his eyebrow.

"Nah, you don't," Dean insists.

"You're a terrible liar."

Dean smirks. "It gives you character!"

"I don't want character. I want my eyebrow back!"

"It's not so bad. At least you didn't burn the whole thing off."

Seamus scowls, and Dean loses it. He knows he shouldn't laugh, but something about the way Seamus looks so distraught over his eyebrow is just too funny.

"I bloody hate you!" Seamus groans. "I'm going to Pomfrey. Maybe she can fix it."

"At least let me take a photo first!"

Seamus storms off, leaving Dean alone with his laughter.

 **ii.**

"So, who are you going to ask to the Yule Ball?" Seamus asks.

Dean looks up from his sketchbook, frowning. Truth be told, he hasn't even considered going. "I was actually planning to go home for Christmas."

"Go home? You can't! It's a big party. A big party with French women," Seamus insists, and the sappy look on his face is almost enough to make Dean want to vomit.

"I think I'll pass."

"Come on, Dean. Who do you fancy? Just go ask her out!"

Dean glances down at the rough sketch he's started of Seamus, just one of several that he's done. "I don't really fancy anyone," he lies.

"Well, then go anyway. Worst case scenario, I'll dance with you," Seamus teases.

Dean looks away. "Like I'd want to dance with you."

"Oi! I'll have you know I am an excellent dancer!"

A smile tugs at Dean's lips. "I bet you are."

 **iii.**

"Okay," Dean says, rubbing his eyes and yawning. "What's so important that you had to wake me at three in the bloody morning?"

Seamus fidgets nervously. "I've been struggling, okay?"

"Struggling?" Dean moves closer, resting a hand on his shoulder. "What do you mean?"

"With myself," Seamus explains. "I- I just needed you to know that I fancy you."

Dean's heart flutters in his chest, but the euphoria dies quickly and is replaced by a painful panic. He's wanted to hear these words for so long, but now that they're out there in the open, he doesn't know what to do with them.

Admitting his feelings would mean admitting something he hasn't quite come to terms with. It would be an awfully big leap, one that could leave him vulnerable and broken, and he isn't sure that he's ready for that.

"I'm not gay, Shay," he whispers.

Seamus pulls away, his cheeks a dark pink in the moonlight. "Oh. I should have guessed. I didn't mean- I don't-"

Dean pulls him into a tight hug. He wants nothing more than to kiss him, to tell him the truth. But he's not ready, not yet.

"This doesn't change anything, Shay," he says. "I promise."

 **iv.**

"So, you and Ginny Weasley," Seamus says, sitting beside Dean on his bed.

Dean nods, slightly uncomfortable. He doesn't want to talk about Ginny with him, not after Seamus' confession before the summer.

"Are you happy?"

 _I wish she were you. I wish I wasn't such a coward. I wish I had your courage and could love you the way you deserve to be loved._

But Dean can't bring himself to say the words. They stick in the back of his throat, and he fears that he may choke on them. "I love her," he says at last.

Seamus smiles and pats Dean's back. "Happy for you, mate. I get to be the best man at your wedding, yeah?"

Dean smiles, and he wonders if it looks as fake as it feels. "If it comes to that, of course."

 **v.**

"You're leaving, aren't you?" Seamus asks.

Dean nods. He doesn't have a choice. There's no way in hell he's going to show up for the registration, and if he stays, he's little more than a walking target.

"That settles it, then," Seamus says, clapping his hands together. "I'm coming with you."

"Shay, you can't."

"I can, and I will," Seamus says stubbornly. "I'm not about to let you run off and get yourself killed. You need someone, Dean."

Dean closes his eyes. In another world, this could be some romantic adventure. Running away together, leaving everything far behind them, never looking back until the war is over. They could start a new life somewhere safe.

But this isn't another world. There's no safe haven to flee to. Before the week is out, Dean will be a wanted man. Anywhere he goes could mean his death.

"Okay," Dean sighs. "Go get your things. But pack lightly. I'll wait here for you."

"Promise you aren't going to just run off?"

Dean swallows dryly. His lips quiver as he forces them into what he hopes looks like a comforting smile. "I promise."

Seamus' grin causes his check to ache. "I'll be right back!" he says before rushing back into the house.

Dean sighs, watching the door close. "I'm sorry," he whispers, throwing his bag over his shoulder and disappearing into the night.

 **vi.**

"Seamus?" Dean says, watching the army of Death Eaters outside the window, knowing that it's only a matter of time before they break through the enchantments.

"Yeah?"

"I lied."

"About?"

Dean keeps his eyes straight ahead, unable to look at Seamus.

"I love you, Seamus. Ever since we were thirteen," Dean admits. "I panicked our fifth year because I was scared of what it would mean if I told you how I felt."

He looks over at Seamus, expecting hurt or anger and finding neither. Seamus' face is as kind as ever. He reaches out, taking Dean's hand.

"I love you," Dean whispers. "Can you forgive me for pretending that I didn't?"

"You're an idiot," Seamus says, but still, there is no harshness in the way he speaks. "There's nothing to forgive."

Dean opens his mouth to argue, but he changes his mind. He's let the guilt pick him apart enough over the years. Perhaps it's time to stop giving power to the guilt and the fear.

Without really thinking about it, he pulls Seamus into his arms. For a moment, he can forget that death is looming over their heads. "Shay…"

Before he can say anything else, Seamus rests his palms on Dean's cheeks, kissing. Dean closes his eyes. It's something he's dreamt of for years, but he's surprised by how natural it feels, like everything in his life has fallen into place.

"Ahem."

The two pull apart, suddenly face to face with the Weasley twins.

"Told you, Georgie," Fred says, his hand outstretched. "You owe me five Galleons."

George rolls his eyes. "They aren't _dating_ yet," he argues. "You'll have to wait until after the war to get your money."

"By the way, while you two were lost in your touching moment," Fred says.

"The first wave of Death Eaters broke through," George continues.

"And McGonagall says that you two need to pay just a teensy bit more attention to your surroundings," Fred concludes with bow. "C'mon, George. Bet I can land more jinxes!"

Dean watches the two of them disappear before turning to Seamus, his cheeks burning. "If we survive this-"

Seamus cuts him off with a quick, chaste kiss. "Not if," he says. "When. _When_ we survive this, you can take me on all the dates you'd like."

Dean grins. "You read my mind."

Seamus draws his wand, mirroring his grin. "Let's do this."


End file.
